What I told my friend who knows everything.

If reality is perception then therefore reality is debatable and no one has the right to say they know or see anything. You observe the world through your senses and these senses are constantly manipulated and corrupted as well as the amount of information you take in through them is but a fraction of what is actually going on and therefore altogether incomplete. This leads to two points of interest. First is that much of what you think you know is a lie. As your eyes looks at the world your mind translates and try’s to make sense of it all. Do not think your mind is always right you are constantly mistaking things around you and these mistakes warp what you call truth. The same thing happens with all your senses and reality suffers. So the reality you think you know is a lie and you are the one that’s lying. The second point of interest is that you are just barely observing the universe. Try an experiment with me. Look at this paragraph and see how many of the words you can look at at once. Try to take in everything instantly. Then look up and try to see how much of your world you can in at once. You are severely limited in your intake of info. What you call reality is just you fumbling through the universe randomly looking at insignificantly small pieces of data in an infinite amount of information that is constantly changing and evolving without you. But even with what your paying attention to you are limited by your mind and can only see and perceive just so much detail. So how is it that we are not just slamming our heads into brick walls as we stumble around? Our mind compensates our lack of information with memory. We slowly collect information over the years that helps fill in the gaps of knowledge that our senses leave out and remember that you’re constantly wrong so these memories are also fraudulent. But this leaves us with one more point of interest. Reality is in your head. You memories and knowledge are what build your perception not your senses. Your senses just give your mind its reference material for the present and you just make up the rest. So next time you think you know something remember that all you’re doing is sitting in your head making up reality with a wealth of false information just telling yourself that you know what’s going on.

A pretty little flower

I had a friend go to the hospital today because he didn’t listen to me. He is what I like to call a “Fiend”. He almost seems like he’s uncomfortable in his own skin and is always trying to get high or drunk or anything to distort himself from reality and always on everyone else’s dime. He is currently out of weed and booze so he called me to see if I had anything I could donate to his stoner charity unforntuetly though I’ve been dry for a couple of days. He asked me “What can I smoke to take the edge off”. I told him “You can get some so called “incense” from the head shop in town. “ But he said that that was not an option for him so I happened to mention salvia but told him not to smoke it without a sitter. Turns out his roommate had some and he then proceeded to roll a fat blunt and sat on the back porch and started to burn it down disregarding my advice completely. This is when all hell broke loose. He didn’t know that it’s not a relaxing good time drug it is an incredibly fast incredibly strong hallucinogenic. He started to trip balls and dropped his joint directly onto the cushion of his chair. Unable to realize what was going on he sat there as the chair burst into flames and he along with it. He then ran screaming off his porch into the street behind his house where he was nearly killed by a passing car. The driver called an ambulance and helped put out the flames. He now has 3rd degree burns all over his stomach and arms and is missing eyebrows and his goatee. Personally I think he looks better than before but that’s just me. So now I will tell you all about salvia so that this doesn’t happen again. Salvia is to weed as the “Tower of Terror” ride is to the “Lazy river” ride. As a drug classification it is a Level 9 supper fast acting hallucinogenic. As you take your 1 hit off it you will be forcibly pulled into a world of your own making as your brain is momentarily poisoned. This pulling will be fast. You will not be able to just relax into it. You will be completely incoherent while you are on it. The trips themselves change from person to person. Mine was the feeling of everything spinning around me and then half my body disappeared as I was put into a space of complete emptiness. One of my friends said he was on the top of a mountain and he remembers the wind on his face and cold of the snow on the ground. Some people say they just laughed uncontrollably for about 5 minutes But it’s not uncommon to have bad trips like seeing people die that you know or just being freaked out for no reason and a bad trip on salvia is like no other it is hell for brief moment and that is why you never take it if your in a bad mood or a bad place in your life. These trips are also very fast and end as quickly as they start. I once did one on a 15 min break at work and was completely sober by the time I got back. Its just that fast. If you want to try it get a sitter load a bowl (never a joint my friend nearly O.D.) and use a torch lighter to take the whole bowl at once and never do more than 3 bowls in a day. It is not that dangerous but treat it with respect if you don’t look good without eyebrows.

"And now if I may have a small moment of your time here are some of my stoned ramblings. Thank you."

Ahhh. Sweet serenity is my weed. How can something so simple be so helpful? I’m sitting at a rest stop smoking my cares away and all is better. First hit and the key on my mind is turned and as the door swings open. Out spills my frustration and anxiety and I smile as I wave them goodbye. And the space they left behind is filled with peace and all is well again. How can something so simple be so illegal? Because as I sit here I also have to keep watch for cops and that gives such a dark cloud to this activity. I mean how am I doing anything wrong? How can something so simple be so hated? I even can’t go home now. Not till I sober up and air out my shirt. They will look at me with a look of disappointment letting me know what they think of this activity and of me by my association. How can something so simple be so complicated?
As I sit here I ponder my questions owe so baked while baking from the heat of my car I find my balance of thought by exploring the points of it. Because there is nothing wrong with weed right? It’s safer than alcohol and less addictive and detrimental than cigarettes so what’s the point of this hatred? It just takes you from your normal reality and puts you in a better one for a while. But then again that itself is a bad thing. To be taken from reality is to give you a false viewpoint of the world and no one can say that a lie is a positive thing even if it is just for a moment. At times I may want to believe a beautiful lie rather than this harsh reality and once that happens I may let my world fall to shit forsaking it for my beautiful lie. But once again balance must be used if a rational thought is my goal so I say that the good outweighs the bad. Plus I’m still here no matter how much I may want to just say fuck it all I’m still fighting this good fight of reality and that may be because of weed. Cause if it wasn’t for weed I’d gone postal and killed you all years ago. I’m just motivation away from being an evil scientist after all. And I'm a clever bastard, you would all be zombies within a year. So I self medicate and everyone does in one way or another and my way is very affective at putting me at peace so go back to the masses and help them with a smile while I secretly plot there demise. But then I realize that in the end in a universe so vastly larger than my comprehension my actions during my brief blip of time on this speck in middle of the galaxy are insignificant and therefore I should really just live my life the best way I know how and not worry about something that really doesn’t matter.
Ahhh. Feels good to justify my actions. Happy smoking :)

sober again

The people I’m staying with have a strict no smoking policy and they have no internet so my life has changed drastically and not exactly in good ways. I’m currently sitting at a Starbucks and the counter girl is giving me dirty look because I've been here for a couple hours and I haven’t ordered anything. I know this place well, this feeling this state of being. The whole drifting existence sucking life from the world to keep myself alive without working. This is actually the 3rd time I’ve been jobless and houseless mooching off my friends. But then again it’s not that bad if you can keep your head above water. That said I’m still looking at my wallet like its let me down somehow like my lack of caffeine and weed is somehow its fault but I have to tell my self the truth less I believe my idiotic finger pointing. I know my position is my fault I am the master of my destiny my past and future are mine alone to sculpt and make better and just as a sculptor has to take a block of nothing and put in time and effort to make something better so do I. And at times the stone block breaks and all your hard work has been ruined and there are few things as enthusiasm killing as failure but you cant blame the block because the marble block is not going to fix things for you only you can do that. So this ramblings thought has lead me to scrape together 2.50 from my car and I’m feeling like a big steaming cup of reality so I can finally put in some applications online.

A muted climax

Well a climax was finally met. Though it wasn’t what I expected. Yesterday Nee told me that I’ve worn out my welcome and needed to leave. It turns out that Mes has been repeatedly bad mouthing me to her telling her that I caused the fight and that all the drama is my fault. (Try to remember that she was there for the fight and saw everything and she is still believing him) He’s saying that if she didn’t tell me to leave then he would take matters into his own hands to remove me. At this point I would like to see him try. I’m too pissed off at him to pull punches this time. But Nee is so afraid of him that she doesn’t know how to say no. That whole house is so afraid of him honestly. He doesn’t live there and she can’t stand him but all he has to do is yell and threaten her and she does everything and anything that he tells her to do. He’s got her convinced that the cops will listen to him and take her to jail if he calls them. He keeps saying that he’ll get them to do a hair follicle test which is complete bullshit. There is no weed at the house, nothing illegal at all, but she still believes the lying sack of shit. I’m staying on a friends couch for the next few days. I can’t stay here long but at least it something. I guess I’m paying for not taking measures into my own hands and putting him out of everyone else’s misery when I had the chance.

Go ahead and laugh. It is funny....

I don’t know how I left out the best part of that story. The next morning I went back to my place and passed out on the couch (I actually only got about 3 hours of sleep the night before). One of my friends came over to my place early that morning to give me a gag present of a set of anal beads. I don’t remember him coming over but he says that I told him to come in when he knocked but never got off the couch and was incapable of really answering any questions I just kind of moaned a lot and told him to leave. I was still pretty drunk at the time. So he took the gag gift out of the box to mess with them for a bit and then left it on the coffee table. Well my mother wanted to come by to see me cause I didn’t see my on her birthday. And when she got there (without calling before hand) she walked in without knocking (I now lock my doors compulsively by the way). I rolled over and moaned still not coherent and my mom proceeds to pick up the small black beaded device not knowing what it was. After holding and smelling it for a bit she found the box with the words Rascal Links XL Anal Beads. Now the hilarious part is that she started yelling at me saying “what is this?!? Why do you have it?!?!” The whole time she screaming this at me she’s rubbing the “device” back and forth across my face with a very disappointed and angry look on her face. So as I wake up, owe so very confused mind you because I didn’t remember my friend coming over at all to give me them, and I get to see my mom rubbing anal beads on my face and the first thing I think is that they are so warm. Lol. Isn’t it great when your emotional scaring is funny?

Smokers nostalgia

Things have been quiet. Nee went on a trip to get away from the madness and Mes hasn't came around. I know with the legal issues I’ve been having I should slow down with the tokeing for bit but I have smoked so much in the last few days. I think I’ve cleared 3 ounces in 3 days. And as I’m sitting here I start to remember some of my favorite times in my life. So instead of a manically depressed blog let me tell you about my 21^st birthday. Its one of my favorite stories. You see at the time I worked at a call center taking calls for Xbox and I really wanted to have an actual party for once so I invited people from work and all 4 of my friends. Well it turned out that my non-work friends and my work friends had very different schedules that day. My work friends get off work around 10pm and my real friends go to work around 10pm on that day. So I went with the larger group and had the party after 10 which meant the people that I could actually count on coming couldn’t that night. Now I took two days off so as to make the best party ever. I spent 600 dollars for the party (mostly on booze) and made a 1200 jello shots stacked into a 3 foot tower and I had a bunch of dry ice in a tub about 2 feet above with a slow water drip over it to make smoke waterfall fall into the room. I got a strobe light and set it up in the corner of my living room and set up little 4 inch speakers all over the place with subwoofers on the floor. There was pizza and pretzels and subway sandwiches. There were bottles upon bottles of booze on every surface just thinking about it brings a tear to my eyes. At the time my drink of choice was everclear. (I was stupid don’t drink it use it in your car for fuel use it as mace against buglers but don’t drink it) I made a drink I found online called the “dead man”. 2 parts everclear to 1 part lemon juice and made a big bear mug of it. When the numbers came out I had about 200 R.S.V.P.’s and around 10 the music was turned on and I sat there waiting for people drinking and as the clock turned to 1am I realized that no one was coming. After about 16 ounces I started drunk texting some of my friends telling them about my near homicidal rage against my so called “work friends” but luckily it turned out that someone I knew was actually throwing a party and this Angel came to get me. She was about 28 and she’s was the sexiest little thing I’ve ever seen. Light brown skin, tig-o-bittys, and just fucking awesome. You know that girl that is just so fun and funny and awesome that even if you didn’t have a throbbing erection when she as much looked at you you would still want to hang out with her every day? Well that’s her. I knew her through someone else and every time we had seen each other previously she always told me of all of her recent crazy sexual conquests. I don’t think I’ve ever fapped to anyone so much. She was epic and incredibly awesome and she would fuck anything boy girl or otherwise but me. Owe I tried though, but she always said I was too young for her. When she heard what my 21^st birthday was coming to she left her party to come get me. And because she is so awesome she brought 2 of her sexy little friends. If you’re currently unzipping let me tell you that this never became a letter to penthouse for a reason I did get a lot of attention and I’ve never sense had so many titties in my face but I didn’t sleep with any of the girls. Not even a handy J. So sad… Well they came by did a shit ton of jello shots with me and then took me, and about half of the jello shots, to there party and that’s the part of night where I started to black out. I have glimpses of the evening and they said that I drank and drank and threw up and drank but I don’t remember. What I do remember was the morning after. I woke up lying across a chair inside the house with my head in a trashcan about half full of vomit. My pants were gone and my head was spinning. There were smiley face stickers on my nipples and there was a girl with a bow on her head and she was covered in permanent marker signatures. They told me that she passed out and they all signed her and put a bow on her head to make her a present for me but I passed out before I could unwrap it. In the backyard was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen. You see my jello shots were a little stronger than everyone thought. They actually caught on fire if you put a lighter to them. The back yard looked like a genocide seen with people hanging over chairs and just laying across things randomly as if the passed out in mid stride. After that I smoked my hangover away with a small crowd of half zombified people. I think that was a successful 21^st.