Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The people I’m staying with have a strict no smoking policy and they have no internet so my life has changed drastically and not exactly in good ways. I’m currently sitting at a Starbucks and the counter girl is giving me dirty look because I've been here for a couple hours and I haven’t ordered anything. I know this place well, this feeling this state of being. The whole drifting existence sucking life from the world to keep myself alive without working. This is actually the 3rd time I’ve been jobless and houseless mooching off my friends. But then again it’s not that bad if you can keep your head above water. That said I’m still looking at my wallet like its let me down somehow like my lack of caffeine and weed is somehow its fault but I have to tell my self the truth less I believe my idiotic finger pointing. I know my position is my fault I am the master of my destiny my past and future are mine alone to sculpt and make better and just as a sculptor has to take a block of nothing and put in time and effort to make something better so do I. And at times the stone block breaks and all your hard work has been ruined and there are few things as enthusiasm killing as failure but you cant blame the block because the marble block is not going to fix things for you only you can do that. So this ramblings thought has lead me to scrape together 2.50 from my car and I’m feeling like a big steaming cup of reality so I can finally put in some applications online.