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Friday, August 5, 2011

Smokers nostalgia

Things have been quiet. Nee went on a trip to get away from the madness and Mes hasn't came around. I know with the legal issues I’ve been having I should slow down with the tokeing for bit but I have smoked so much in the last few days. I think I’ve cleared 3 ounces in 3 days. And as I’m sitting here I start to remember some of my favorite times in my life. So instead of a manically depressed blog let me tell you about my 21st birthday. Its one of my favorite stories. You see at the time I worked at a call center taking calls for Xbox and I really wanted to have an actual party for once so I invited people from work and all 4 of my friends. Well it turned out that my non-work friends and my work friends had very different schedules that day. My work friends get off work around 10pm and my real friends go to work around 10pm on that day. So I went with the larger group and had the party after 10 which meant the people that I could actually count on coming couldn’t that night. Now I took two days off so as to make the best party ever. I spent 600 dollars for the party (mostly on booze) and made a 1200 jello shots stacked into a 3 foot tower and I had a bunch of dry ice in a tub about 2 feet above with a slow water drip over it to make smoke waterfall fall into the room. I got a strobe light and set it up in the corner of my living room and set up little 4 inch speakers all over the place with subwoofers on the floor. There was pizza and pretzels and subway sandwiches. There were bottles upon bottles of booze on every surface just thinking about it brings a tear to my eyes. At the time my drink of choice was everclear. (I was stupid don’t drink it use it in your car for fuel use it as mace against buglers but don’t drink it) I made a drink I found online called the “dead man”. 2 parts everclear to 1 part lemon juice and made a big bear mug of it. When the numbers came out I had about 200 R.S.V.P.’s and around 10 the music was turned on and I sat there waiting for people drinking and as the clock turned to 1am I realized that no one was coming. After about 16 ounces I started drunk texting some of my friends telling them about my near homicidal rage against my so called “work friends” but luckily it turned out that someone I knew was actually throwing a party and this Angel came to get me. She was about 28 and she’s was the sexiest little thing I’ve ever seen. Light brown skin, tig-o-bittys, and just fucking awesome. You know that girl that is just so fun and funny and awesome that even if you didn’t have a throbbing erection when she as much looked at you you would still want to hang out with her every day? Well that’s her. I knew her through someone else and every time we had seen each other previously she always told me of all of her recent crazy sexual conquests. I don’t think I’ve ever fapped to anyone so much. She was epic and incredibly awesome and she would fuck anything boy girl or otherwise but me. Owe I tried though, but she always said I was too young for her. When she heard what my 21st birthday was coming to she left her party to come get me. And because she is so awesome she brought 2 of her sexy little friends. If you’re currently unzipping let me tell you that this never became a letter to penthouse for a reason I did get a lot of attention and I’ve never sense had so many titties in my face but I didn’t sleep with any of the girls. Not even a handy J. So sad… Well they came by did a shit ton of jello shots with me and then took me, and about half of the jello shots, to there party and that’s the part of night where I started to black out. I have glimpses of the evening and they said that I drank and drank and threw up and drank but I don’t remember. What I do remember was the morning after. I woke up lying across a chair inside the house with my head in a trashcan about half full of vomit. My pants were gone and my head was spinning. There were smiley face stickers on my nipples and there was a girl with a bow on her head and she was covered in permanent marker signatures. They told me that she passed out and they all signed her and put a bow on her head to make her a present for me but I passed out before I could unwrap it. In the backyard was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen. You see my jello shots were a little stronger than everyone thought. They actually caught on fire if you put a lighter to them. The back yard looked like a genocide seen with people hanging over chairs and just laying across things randomly as if the passed out in mid stride. After that I smoked my hangover away with a small crowd of half zombified people. I think that was a successful 21st.



10 comments:

  1. Man, that's a hell of a party. Screw those guys for not coming to your bash though.

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  2. Followed for sure bro! Keep up the good work and return to favor! Don't be a roody-poo! LMAO

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  3. Damn, those sound like some crazy jello shots. lmao

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  4. Nice...
    I think I sat up all night playing Team Fortress 2
    on my 21st birthday....
    /wristself

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  5. Lmfao. by the text, i see i was a goood old party

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  6. nice insight dude, keep it up!

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  7. 600 bucks on a party? jeezus. you dont play!

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